christmas has got me thinking.
holiday family gatherings are tricky, because i am the only person in my immediate and mostly extended family who identifies and/or is a person of color, because of adoption. i am also the only person who, in college, isn’t taking the fast track to a good paying job route, and is choosing to do things i love versus things that will make me look good on paper or will give me any sort of lavish lifestyle. my choice to deeply engage in ‘politics’ is deeply connected to my identity as a working-class raised person (my mother has worked in retail all her life to give my sister and i nice things, a warm place to live and food to eat), a mixed race person with scattered roots, and a queer woman.
why are my cousins so un-humble? why am i the only one who cares about casual racism, US imperialism, etc? why do my aunts and cousin walk around with sticks up their butts yet allow sexism to consume them?
i just dont get it.
i’m listening to Mixed Chick Chat, episode 20 called “who are your people” and they (of course) are talking about celebrities and their ancestry/race(s) and i’m thinking about mixed visibility in the hollywood world. there are so many mixed folk! more than i thought!
I’m also listening to “letters to a young mixed chick”. i wish that i would have gotten some of this advice. where are all the adopted mixed kids? holla’ if ya hear me?
now i’m listening to one on mixed chicks abroad. i could go on forever about my mixed chick experience abroad. people usually don’t believe me i tell them i’m norteamericana. people sometimes don’t believe me when i tell them i’m not gringa, a white woman. is this usually mixed folks experience, especially those who pass for white? maybe this is mostly what happens in latin america? mostly when i’m away i’m just unitedstasian, intrinsically. i don’t know. there is more i want to write on this, but am too tired.
i’m also fuckin’ tired, and i don’t know what i’m writing about and should be writing my evaluation. agh.